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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24973537">Carbon</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepestbluest/pseuds/deepestbluest'>deepestbluest</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Friends With Benefits But Make It More Complicated, M/M, Misunderstandings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:53:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,360</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24973537</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepestbluest/pseuds/deepestbluest</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Madara grimaces. “I'm leaving. Try not to let any of my kin die while I'm gone.”</p><p>He jumps up, landing soundlessly on the nearest roof, and takes off without a look back.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Senju Hashirama &amp; Senju Tobirama, Senju Hashirama/Uchiha Madara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>245</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Carbon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">

        <li>
          Translation into Русский available: 
            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25638598">Carbon</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwadratny/pseuds/kwadratny">kwadratny</a>
        </li>


    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>1.</b>
</p><p>Madara’s breath is hot on the side of Hashirama’s face.</p><p>Hashirama leans into him, pressing Madara’s back harder against the wall. His hands are sweaty, and at the edge of his mind is the fear that he’ll lose his grip on the backs of Madara’s thighs and this will be over.</p><p>There's nothing to dry his hands on; their clothes are on the floor, and Madara, who’s just as sweaty, won't let him stop for something as trivial as safety.</p><p>The best Hashirama can do is trust Madara to keep holding on with his legs.</p><p>“What's with that face?” Madara pants. “You want to stop, Hashirama?”</p><p>Even now, he's antagonistic.</p><p>Hashirama shakes his head. “I don't.”</p><p>“Then stop looking unhappy.”</p><p><em> Aren't you the one making me look like this? </em> Hashirama thinks. <em> Aren't you all I can think about? </em></p><p>
  <em> Aren’t you all I want and can never have? </em>
</p><p>He kisses Madara, and when Madara arches his back, making a sound in the back of his throat, Hashirama kisses him again.</p><p>“Stay,” he asks. He's spent most of his life begging Madara for this; it costs him nothing to ask again now, when Madara is hard against Hashirama’s belly and clinging to Hashirama's shoulders.</p><p>Madara shakes his head. As he does, Hashirama notices a fading cut on his cheek. “No, Hashirama.”</p><p>He comes and goes as it suits him, pushing his way into Hashirama's space every time he returns with the certainty that comes from knowing Hashirama won't say no. This village is Madara’s home. Even if he rejects it now, Hashirama will keep the gate open for him.</p><p>If Madara found love elsewhere, Hashirama might be able to let someone else stand watch at the gate, but Madara ducks every offer of love.</p><p>His sporadic, unannounced visits to Hashirama are all he'll accept.</p><p>Fingers digging in harder, Hashirama focuses on what Madara does allow. The realization of any dream has to begin somewhere. Madara making Konoha his home can begin with them fucking in Hashirama’s office.</p><p>So long as Madara comes to him, even just for this, he isn't beyond Hashirama’s reach.</p><p> </p><p>⁂</p><p> </p><p>Tobirama comes by not long after Madara slips out. He walks in, wrinkles his nose, and makes a beeline for the window.</p><p>“Sorry,” Hashirama apologizes. His clothes aren't in disarray, but he straightens them anyway. “If I’d known you were going to come by-”</p><p>“It's fine,” Tobirama says over him. He opens the window with a sharp snap and sticks his head out. “I’m only here because I felt Madara’s chakra and I wanted to be sure you were safe.” The look he gives Hashirama is scathing, the sort of judgmental look a more cynical person would say Tobirama's face was shaped to make. “It seems you are, so I’ll take my leave.”</p><p>Tobirama has always been an ascetic. He speaks sharply and, despite the depth of his loyalty, has little interest in befriending the people in his care.</p><p>Perhaps if Hashirama had been a better older brother to him, Tobirama would have outgrown the shell he wrapped around himself after he took his first life.</p><p>“Thank you, Tobirama,” Hashirama says softly. “You look after me well.”</p><p>Halfway to the door, Tobirama pauses. “You're the hokage. Of course I'm going to look after you. Be sure to shut the window before you leave,” is all he says before he ducks out.</p><p>Hashirama smiles to himself as he watches his brother leave.</p><p><em> I'll do better, </em> Hashirama promises. <em> Here, in the village you're helping me run, you can be the man I know you wanted to be. </em></p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>2.</b>
</p><p>It's just past midnight and Hashirama is lying on his side, one knee drawn up almost to his chest.</p><p>Madara is pressed against him from behind, fucking him slowly. The skin on Hashirama’s neck already feels hot and sore from Madara marking it.</p><p>They don't talk much like this. When Madara wants to fuck him, at least at this point in their lives, there's usually something going on in his head that he can't resolve on his own. He comes to Hashirama because he can't sleep. Because something he's trying to do, which he won't tell Hashirama about, went badly. Because he wants to fuck him.</p><p>Because Madara is the only person Hashirama invites into his bedroom, and in here, Madara can have whatever he asks for.</p><p>“Hashirama.”</p><p>Hashirama makes a sound to say he's listening. The steady, rocking movement of Madara’s hips is all he wants to think about, but if Madara wants to talk, Hashirama will listen.</p><p>“Hashirama,” Madara says again.</p><p>“Yes, Madara?” Hashirama asks. He draws in a sharp breath as Madara pushes in harder. The gasp of Madara’s name that slips out is an accident, but Madara squeezes Hashirama harder and fucks him harder in place of answering.</p><p>Hashirama is finally getting close when Madara slows down again.</p><p>“I won't stay.”</p><p>“I didn't ask yet.”</p><p>“I'm saving you the trouble,” Madara says lightly.</p><p>His heart is racing, pounding against Hashirama’s back.</p><p>“What trouble?” Hashirama asks, trying to catch his breath. “It's a simple question.”</p><p>“Why? Why can't you let me go, Hashirama?”</p><p>Hashirama opens his mouth to argue, but Madara pulls out and shifts away.</p><p>“What are you-”</p><p>Madara rolls Hashirama onto his back. “I want to see you,” he mutters. “If you can be selfish, I can be, too. Let me have this?”</p><p>There's a different question in his voice, but he doesn't ask it.</p><p>Hashirama pulls him down and kisses him, and Madara fucks him hard enough to make Hashirama forget to point out that Madara isn't letting go of Hashirama either.</p><p>But not enough to make him forget to ask Madara to stay.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>3.</b>
</p><p>They're in the tub together, Madara settled between Hashirama's legs. He's unusually quiet tonight. If Tobirama hadn't come into Hashirama's office and told him, voice clipped, that Madara was sitting on the village gate and upsetting the people in the nearby houses with his menacing chakra, Hashirama might not have known he was in the village.</p><p>He already blew Madara. He pinned Madara’s hips to the bathroom door while Madara arched his back and promised it felt good.</p><p>He's barely said five words since.</p><p>Reaching around, Hashirama lays his palm on Madara’s belly. Unlike Madara’s arms, which have acquired more and more scars since they stopped being children, the skin there is soft and unmarked.</p><p>Gut wounds are death sentences. Ninjas and civilians alike know to fear them; even the erratic head of the Uchiha guards his belly.</p><p>Hashirama lifts his fingers to Madara’s sternum and slides them down until he feels the dip of Madara’s navel. It's the sort of touch that usually makes Madara bristle and push Hashirama away.</p><p>He barely manages an annoyed grunt this time.</p><p>“Are you there?” Hashirama asks, concern growing.</p><p>Madara huffs. “Where else would I be?”</p><p>“Usually? Not here.”</p><p>They have an understanding. Hashirama pretends he doesn't know where Madara has been, and Madara doesn't tell him how many times he nearly died.</p><p>Tobirama is coming by tomorrow; Hashirama has to remember to clean up the sand from Madara’s armor before he arrives. There will be a complaint from the kazekage soon, no doubt, and the less evidence Tobirama sees of Madara’s visit, the less arguing there will be between them.</p><p>“I suppose that's true,” Madara drawls, “but I often lose track of time these days.”</p><p>Hashirama allows him the silence Madara is pushing for.</p><p>Time passes, and Hashirama keeps quiet. Madara’s breathing is slow and even, his eyes closed. The circles under them aren't as stark as they've been in the past.</p><p>If he'd just agree to live in the village, they might disappear entirely.</p><p>He's close enough to kiss, but Hashirama bites his cheek and contents himself with getting as much skin-to-skin contact as he can without the risk of interrupting Madara’s thoughts. It's nice to sit quietly sometimes. Even a whirlwind like Madara needs to rest.</p><p>“You're unusually quiet,” Madara remarks idly as Hashirama noses at Madara’s shoulder blade. “Did you finally think so hard you hurt yourself?”</p><p>Hashirama lays his forehead on Madara's shoulder and sighs. “Do I really seem stupid?”</p><p>“You still get depressed too easily,” Madara complains, elbowing him in the ribs. “If you want the other kage to take you seriously, you need to act more like one. Otherwise, Konoha will seem weak.”</p><p>“You really care?” Hashirama asks. He winces as soon as the words come out; in his excitement about Madara expressing concern about the village, he spoke hastily. “That is-”</p><p>“It's my legacy, too, you know,” Madara sniffs, cutting him off. “You put my face on it- unless you had my statue altered to look like your brother?”</p><p>Madara’s voice isn't entirely joking. Whether that's due to a genuine question of Hashirama choosing to erase him or simple antagonism toward Tobirama is beyond Hashirama, and Hashirama won't ask.</p><p>“Of course not! You'll always be my co-founder. Besides,” he adds lightly, “as I recall, the statue maker said he can't make statues taller, only shorter, and Tobirama is the taller of you."</p><p>“You!"</p><p>Madara whirls around, eyes alight, but Hashirama is ready for him.</p><p>They wrestle in the water, spilling some over the sides of the tub and onto the floor. Madara threatens to drown him between protests over the insignificance of a few centimeters, and Hashirama laughs as he pushes Madara around. He's bigger than Madara now. Unlike when they first met, he's got the edge and uses it without guilt.</p><p>By the time he gets Madara pinned, they're both breathing hard and most of the water is on the floor. They're going to have bruises from knocking each other around in the unforgiving tub tomorrow.</p><p>Hashirama can feel Madara’s chest moving as he breathes, and when he kisses Madara, he feels the same rush he got the first time they kissed.</p><p>Unlike the first time they kissed, Madara doesn't turn red and yell at him.</p><p>“Come on, Hashirama,” Madara orders between kisses. “Fuck me. Fuck me until I can't think.”</p><p>“Anything,” Hashirama promises. “I'll give you anything you want.”</p><p>Madara doesn't point out that Hashirama can't keep his word, and Hashirama doesn't stop promising.</p><p> </p><p>⁂</p><p> </p><p>“Will you stay?” Hashirama asks.</p><p>Madara doesn't pause as he redresses. “No.”</p><p>“I want you to.”</p><p>“I said no, Hashirama.”</p><p>“Then will you tell me you'll come back home?”</p><p>Here, Madara does pause. “What?”</p><p>Hashirama meets his eyes. “I’m asking if you'll promise you’ll return to the village. Even if you won't stay, it's still your home.”</p><p>“You don't understand, do you?” Madara asks, voice tight.</p><p>“I don't.”</p><p>“Then how can you possibly talk to me of home?"</p><p>“Konoha is your legacy, too,” Hashirama reminds him. “I won't let our dream exclude you.”</p><p>“That isn't what I meant! How are you so-” Madara breathes in sharply, then lets it out slowly. “Fine. Let's talk about the village. You won't be around forever, Hashirama. Your brother will be the next hokage, and he has other plans. The Uchiha will suffer under him. He loathes us."</p><p>Confused but opting not to push on two fronts, Hashirama shakes his head sharply. “My brother doesn't hate your clan.”</p><p>Madara scoffs.</p><p>“He doesn't,” Hashirama insists. “Tobirama is experimenting with a new training style. One of the people he's testing it with is an Uchiha, and Tobirama is very fond of him. He's said more than once that he considers Kagami to be the epitome of what a shinobi should be. You know Tobirama. He wouldn't say that if he didn't mean it.”</p><p>For once, Tobirama’s refusal to soften his tongue works to Hashirama’s advantage.</p><p>“The epitome of a ninja? An Uchiha?” Madara asks, voice soft. He shakes his head, surprise shifting to suspicion. “Did you do something to him?”</p><p>“Of course not!”</p><p>“He could be lying to you. You won't hassle him if you think he doesn't hate us."</p><p>Patience starting to wear thin, Hashirama asks, “When has my brother ever shied from being hassled by me? See for yourself, Madara. Speak to Kagami. Ask his teammates. Watch him working with Tobirama. The greatest threat to your clan right now is your own stubbornness.”</p><p>Eyes narrowing, Madara says, “Maybe I will.”</p><p>He means it as a threat, but Hashirama has seen for himself how much affection Tobirama has for his students, Kagami included. If Madara intends to watch them for a sign of Tobirama’s favor being false, he's going to be watching for a long time.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>4.</b>
</p><p>“Madara, please,” Hashirama pleads, jogging to keep up. “Calm down. It was an accident.”</p><p>“You don't know that!”</p><p>“It was a training exercise! Children get hurt on them every day. Yesterday it was an Akimichi and a Hatake. This morning it was two Nara girls and a Sarutobi. The Uchiha boy is fine. His classmates ran for help when he fell-”</p><p>“He shouldn't have fallen in the first place,” Madara interrupts.</p><p>“That's impossible, and you know it. All children fall now and then. It's part of learning.”</p><p>Madara doesn't answer, but Hashirama can tell from the way he's holding himself that Hashirama's attempts to reassure him have fallen short.</p><p>“Learning, is it? All sorts of lessons can be learned, Hashirama. You can't be certain what lesson someone will take from an experience.”</p><p>Drawing himself up- Madara dislikes the difference in their heights, but sometimes looming over him will remind him that Hashirama is just as capable of being pushy as Madara is- Hashirama says, “You upset him more than the fall did. His friends were sitting with him and having a good time cheering him up. Then you came flying in, shouting threats at them and their teacher.</p><p>“If you'd just stop pushing the village away and trust us, you wouldn't see danger everywhere."</p><p>Madara grimaces. “I'm leaving. Try not to let any of my kin die while I'm gone.”</p><p>He jumps up, landing soundlessly on the nearest roof, and takes off without a look back.</p><p>Hashirama bends his knees to do the same, but Tobirama, who's supposed to be training with the Sarutobi boy he's taken under his wing, materializes and grabs his arm. “Don't.”</p><p>“Let go, Tobirama.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, but I can't do that.”</p><p>Madara disappears over the wall, and Hashirama knows he won't be able to catch up now, not when he's in the heart of the village and can't risk damaging any of the buildings or streets. Madara will be blamed for it if he does.</p><p>“You're making it worse,” Tobirama says as Hashirama gives him a firm push back. “Either tell him not to come back or accept that this is how he is.”</p><p>“What are you talking about? He's my-” Hashirama pauses. What is Madara to him? Why is Hashirama only now asking himself this- now, when he's faced with his brother, the only person in the village who can see through him? “He's my friend, Tobirama. What am I making worse by wanting to look after my friend?”</p><p>Tobirama looks at him flatly. “Your friend, is he?” At Hashirama’s own flat look, he sighs. “You should be more careful with your friend, then.”</p><p>“Be careful what you say, brother. I'm in no mood to hear more complaints about Madara’s instability."</p><p>“He <em> is </em> an Uchiha."</p><p>So it's this again. Despite his pride in Kagami, Tobirama won't let go of the war.</p><p>He and Madara have more in common than they realize.</p><p>“Just because you can't see past your feelings about the Uchiha-" </p><p>“I thought you understood that I don't hate them.” Tobirama massages his forehead with one hand. “Do you think that little of me? Konoha is still young. It can’t weather one of its clans self-destructing, and the Uchihas are the most likely to do that.”</p><p>“Which is why I should speak to Madara.”</p><p>“Which is why you should do no such thing. Madara left because you weren't listening. Pursuing him will only validate that belief.”</p><p>“What would you have me do, Tobirama?” Hashirama asks. “I can't leave him like this.”</p><p>“Can't you? You wore him down into making peace. He needs to learn how to- Please don't look at me like that, brother. I'm trying to help.”</p><p>Hashirama hadn't meant to give Tobirama any particular look. “Sorry, sorry.”</p><p>Accepting the apology, Tobirama continues. “He has to figure out how to live with peace on his own. If you try to make him live the way you want, not the way he chooses for himself, he’ll hate you. He already resents his clan for embracing Konoha instead of him. Right now, all that’s keeping him from making real trouble is being able to come and go.”</p><p>“But-”</p><p>“You built a place where children aren't sent out to die the moment they can walk. Are you ready to endanger all of that to chase a man who doesn't want to be chased?” Tobirama tilts his head. “I thought better of you.”</p><p>It’s a cold, calculated challenge. From anyone else, Hashirama would take offense. From his brother, it’s merely a reminder.</p><p>“I don't want him to suffer,” Hashirama says slowly.</p><p>“Does a cat suffer every time it walks away?” Tobirama asks. “Madara will return when he's ready.”</p><p>Relenting, Hashirama nods. “Thank you, Tobirama.”</p><p>“I don't like to see you get hurt,” Tobirama says, looking uncomfortable.</p><p>Unable to resist, Hashirama wonders aloud, “How would Madara would feel, knowing you’re coaching me in how to keep him happy?"</p><p>The look Tobirama gives him is exactly as sullen as Hashirama had hoped.</p><p>“Let's not find out.”</p><p> </p><p>⁂</p><p> </p><p>Madara pulls Hashirama closer against his chest.</p><p>On his hands and knees in the middle of the bed, Hashirama closes his eyes. Madara doesn't move his hand; it's still pressed to his chest, fingers splayed.</p><p>He doesn't fuck Hashirama either. He must want to. He grabbed Hashirama the moment he swung through Hashirama’s bedroom window and started pulling on their clothes, unable to stick to one piece long enough to take it off, his hands skittering over Hashirama’s body as he tugged at this hem and that tie, kissing Hashirama hard enough to hurt.</p><p>Yet here they are. Madara is behind him, chin hooked over Hashirama's shoulder as he holds Hashirama close.</p><p>Content despite being hard, Hashirama lets out a long, unsteady breath.</p><p>“What's that for?” Madara complains.</p><p>“Nothing,” Hashirama lies.</p><p>Madara pinches his hip. “Try again. And don't try to say it's because of us being like this. You've been acting strange since I got here.” He pauses for a moment, and Hashirama feels him swallow. “Do you not want to? You could have said-”</p><p>“You came back,” Hashirama interrupts.</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“You were so angry about that child and you stayed away for so long, I thought you might not come back.”</p><p>Madara snorts.</p><p>“What's so funny?” Hashirama asks. “I was worried, Madara!”</p><p>“If I leave for good, it won't be by fleeing over the wall in the middle of the day.” Madara pets Hashirama’s hip, his fingers soothing the skin he pinched earlier. “You'll be chasing me, sword drawn. The sky will be dark with storm clouds. We’ll scream each other’s names, and one of us will die.” Fingers twitching on Hashirama's chest, he huffs a laugh. “Somehow, I think that one will be me.”</p><p>“Madara…”</p><p>“What can I say?” Madara asks lightly. “I dislike the idea of living in a world where you aren't waiting for me.”</p><p>Laying one hand over Madara’s, his palm catching on the uneven texture of a healing cut, Hashirama shakes his head. “You think I'd be happy in a world where you'll never come back to me?”</p><p>“I know you would be. You'll always be happy again. That's how you Senju are; you're burdened with a limitless capacity for love. My clan isn't so fortunate.” Madara kisses Hashirama’s shoulder. “Love me while I’m here, Hashirama. Someday, we may be parted for good.”</p><p>He shifts, hips canting forward, and Hashirama breathes in sharply.</p><p>“Keep asking me to stay,” Madara says, his breath hot on Hashirama’s skin.</p><p>Hashirama nods quickly. “Keep coming back to me and I will.”</p><p>Madara doesn't make him any promises, but he says Hashirama’s name so many times, it becomes indistinguishable from the sound of his breathing.</p><p>And later, after getting up to leave, Madara takes a long time to say no when Hashirama asks him to say.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>5.</b>
</p><p>Madara is leaning back on Hashirama’s desk, hands braced on the edge.</p><p>Kneeling between his legs, Hashirama looks up at him.</p><p>“I don't understand,” Madara rasps. He touches Hashirama’s cheek. “What do you get out of this?"</p><p>Rather than pull off and answer, Hashirama takes Madara deeper. He closes his eyes as he swallows. His nose is almost pressed flat against Madara’s body; he's so close, he can smell the salve Madara must have used on a cut earlier in the day.</p><p>Madara makes a soft, pained sound. “Why is this so important to you?” He takes a firmer hold on Hashirama, hands framing Hashirama’s face. “Why? You, who’s considered a god, what use do you have for your old enemy? How is keeping me here worth kneeling?”</p><p>Hashirama opens his eyes and looks up slowly.</p><p>Madara’s eyes are black and red, impossible irises spinning slowly.</p><p>“Why,” he asks, voice hoarse, “do I want to trust you? Is it really just a summer by a river when we were young that makes me think I could entrust my clan to you?”</p><p>Hashirama pulls off slowly, reluctant to stop and sorry that Madara removes his hands, but this feels important. “I don't know.”</p><p>“You’re supposed to have answers, Hashirama.”</p><p>“Sorry. Try Tobirama.”</p><p>“And confirm that he knows something I don't? Absolutely not.”</p><p>Despite enjoying the rare levity from Madara, Hashirama closes his eyes and lays his temple on Madara’s thigh. “I'm tired, Madara. Nothing is working out like I hoped.”</p><p>“Oh? Is the village falling apart? Are we returning to the way it used to be?"</p><p>Hashirama lets himself smile; it's a very Madara thing to do, comforting him by antagonizing him with something he's afraid of.</p><p>“No, the village isn’t falling apart.”</p><p>“Then what’s wrong?”</p><p>“You aren't in it. I wanted this to bring you peace, but you're hurting even more.” Hashirama rubs his face on Madara’s thigh; the soft hair tickles his cheek. “I wish I knew how to make you happy.”</p><p>Madara hums in thought. “I don't think happiness is in my future, Hashirama.”</p><p>“Then close your eyes. Let me look for it for you.”</p><p>“Don't be an idiot.”</p><p>“I'm not.” Hashirama opens his eyes and looks up at Madara. “The Sharingan remembers too much, Madara. We don't need to remember; we need to look forward. I can see the future without the past fogging the view.”</p><p>“There you go again, talking nonsense and asking for impossible things.”</p><p>Hashirama reaches for Madara’s hand and kisses his scarred knuckles. “Impossible things are the ones I like best. Most of them have come to me in your hands.”</p><p>“Is this what your Will of Fire feels like?” Madara asks.</p><p>if Hashirama didn't know better, he'd say Madara sounds frightened.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>Madara shakes his head. “It's nothing. You didn't finish what you started, and I'm talking nonsense.”</p><p>Hashirama nods and, after kissing Madara’s thighs and sucking marks low on Madara's belly, takes Madara back into his mouth.</p><p>It’s fine if Madara can't see a happy future. Hashirama knows one exists; he can feel it. His dream of sharing Konoha with Madara is slowly coming to fruition. Madara’s happiness is part of that. All Hashirama has to do is convince Madara not to leave before Hashirama can make Konoha his home.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>6.</b>
</p><p>“Madara interrogated Kagami and his friends,” Tobirama says, looking more tired than angry. He sits down on the edge of Hashirama’s desk. “He did so at your instruction, according to him.”</p><p>Hashirama rubs his hands over his face. He's been working hard on paperwork all day. The last thing he's looking to do is fight with his brother.</p><p>“I did tell him he should speak to Kagami,” Hashirama admits.</p><p>“Speaking and interrogating do seem to go hand in hand with Madara.”</p><p>Hashirama shoots him a warning look. “Tobirama.”</p><p>Tobirama lifts his hands in surrender. “I know, I know. Besides, I didn't come here to argue.”</p><p>“So why did you?”</p><p>“Kagami told me Madara was acting strange. He wasn't angry.”</p><p>“Madara is capable of more than that one particular emotion.”</p><p>“He is, but the rest tend to lead back to it.” Tobirama tilts his head, studying Hashirama like he studies an opponent’s seals. “So imagine my surprise at hearing from Kagami that Madara looked afraid.”</p><p>Hashirama’s heart beats too loud in his ears. “Madara did?”</p><p>“I won't pretend to understand him, but Madara isn't afraid of many things, is he, Hashirama?”</p><p>“He isn't.”</p><p>Message delivered, Tobirama gets to his feet. “Try to go home before I do. Your 'friend' keeps opening the windows in my office when he visits yours, and I don't want to spend tomorrow morning running after my paperwork.”</p><p> </p><p>⁂</p><p> </p><p>Madara is waiting for him when Hashirama gets home.</p><p>He's naked in Hashirama’s bed.</p><p>“Your brother is indeed doing well by Kagami,” he says conversationally. “I don't know how he did it, but it seems he scraped together enough decency to endear himself to an Uchiha.”</p><p>“I see,” Hashirama says, trying to focus. “And why are you…”</p><p>He waves at Madara.</p><p>“My clan is being integrated into Konoha. As you promised, we aren't being isolated. I hate to say it, but your brother is helping with that.”</p><p>Hashirama tries to find an explanation in that but comes up short.</p><p>Face turning red as Hashirama only manages to stare at him, confused but hopeful, Madara coughs lightly. “What? Your brother is teaching children to look up to an Uchiha, just like you said he is, and I felt like coming over and seeing you. If you'd like me to leave, I'll do so now.”</p><p>Hashirama shakes his head. “I don't!”</p><p>“Then come here already. I've been waiting for you for hours.”</p><p>Madara pats the bed, and Hashirama goes obediently.</p><p>He lets himself be pushed into his back, and as Madara climbs on top of him, he can almost forget the letter he read just before he left his office.</p><p> </p><p>⁂</p><p> </p><p>Madara takes his time getting up when they finish. He rolls off Hashirama lazily and stops to kiss him a few times.</p><p>When he does eventually stand up fully, he winces.</p><p>“Sore?” Hashirama asks. He's exhausted, but he stretches out his hand, intending to soothe whatever part of Madara is hurting.</p><p>“It's fine.”</p><p>“Will you at least let me take care of the cut on your leg? It opened earlier.”</p><p>Madara curses and reaches for his calf.</p><p>“I could heal it,” Hashirama reminds him.</p><p>After a moment, Madara walks over and raises his leg, bracing his foot on Hashirama’s thigh when Hashirama pats it.</p><p>Hashirama doesn't have to touch Madara to heal him, but he does anyway.</p><p>When the cut is healed, Hashirama releases Madara.</p><p>He feels cold already.</p><p>His heart pounds in the back of his throat as he watches Madara bend over in search of his hakama.</p><p>“We’re in talks with Uzushio,” Hashirama tells him. “They're sending an envoy. It's due a week from tomorrow, but I don't know how long they'll stay.”</p><p>Madara continues his search and doesn't say anything.</p><p>Despite the friction between them, he's still the head of his clan. He knows what an envoy at a time like this means. Even if it's an idea Madara won't entertain for himself and turns his nose up at for his kin now that they're part of Konoha, he must see the same unspoken message Hashirama saw.</p><p>Fully dressed, Madara turns to look at Hashirama squarely. “Uzushio, huh? The Uzumaki live there. Your clans go back, as I recall.”</p><p>“We do.” Hashirama doesn't look away as he asks, “Will you come back?”</p><p>Madara shrugs. “Who knows?”</p><p>“Not even for your clan?”</p><p>“They don’t need me. After all, they have your brother.”</p><p>“Don't be childish.”</p><p>“This is an interesting idea of a happy future,” Madara says curtly, pointedly ignoring him. “I should have known not to trust your eyes. What could you possibly discern that an Uchiha couldn’t, Senju?”</p><p>He shoves his feet into his sandals and heads for the window, his earlier slowness gone.</p><p>“Madara.”</p><p>There's anger radiating off him, but Madara does stop before he's entirely out the window. “What is it now, Hashirama?”</p><p>It's not enough, but Hashirama says, “There will always be a place for you in Konoha. Even if you don't want it now, I'll keep it for you.”</p><p>Madara looks at him for a long time, saying nothing, before he shakes his head. “Tell your brother to pick a good wife for you. He's a cold bastard, but he's a surprisingly good judge of character when it suits him.”</p><p>Uninterested in anything else Hashirama might have to say, he jumps out the window. He lands heavily on a nearby building, and his heavy footsteps, followed by Tobirama’s shouted warning to get off his roof, give away which way he's headed- out of Konoha, toward the Uchihas’ ancestral home. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>7.</b>
</p><p>Hashirama sits down gently under one of Konoha’s looming pine trees. He's exhausted, and despite Tobirama's increasingly clipped assurances, he isn't convinced this is the best way forward.</p><p>The envoy has been gone for nearly three months, and Hashirama has come out here every day since it departed.</p><p>He closes his eyes and, like every day before this one, hopes.</p><p>He feels the sun as it crawls through the sky. There's a small breeze that keeps him cool. Animals go about their lives, well used to him by now.</p><p>It's well into the afternoon when he senses a distinctly human burst of chakra approach. He isn't a sensor like Tobirama, but he'd know this chakra anywhere.</p><p>“So, when’s the wedding?” Madara asks, voice light.</p><p>Hashirama opens his eyes and quickly spots Madara perched in the tree directly ahead of him.</p><p>“Am I invited?” Madara continues. “I'm the village’s co-founder, after all. It would be rude not to at least ask.”</p><p>“There isn't going to be a wedding.”</p><p>Madara drops to the ground and lands easily. Hands on his hips, he looks at Hashirama suspiciously. His mouth is pursed in something a more generous man wouldn't call a pout. “Skipping the ceremony? That's unusual. Oh, don't tell me. Did the two of you already...?"</p><p>He trails off suggestively.</p><p>“I'm not getting married,” Hashirama says sharply. “There isn't going to be a wedding because Konoha and Uzushio won't be allies through marriage.”</p><p>He can feel Madara’s confusion. On any other day, he would find some humor in the expression on Madara’s face, but he doesn't have the energy today.</p><p>“Tobirama convinced them a marriage wouldn’t be enough to win Uzushio the kind of emphatic defense they want from Konoha’s myriad clans,” he explains. “Marrying one of them to me would win them loyalty from the Senju, but the rest of Konoha isn't a guarantee yet. An Uzumaki jinchuuriki, though? That would be meaningful to everyone.”</p><p>His voice is too loud, the anger he's been stifling since Tobirama told him what he'd done behind Hashirama’s back beginning to escape Hashirama’s hold.</p><p>“Why are you angry?” Madara asks, brow furrowing. “You secured the alliance you wanted. Did you fall in love with your would-be bride anyway?”</p><p>He's mocking, but Hashirama knows him too well to miss the question he isn't asking.</p><p>“I didn't fall in love with anyone.”</p><p>“Then what's the problem? You're free. The marriage is cancelled. You're free to do as you please, aren't you?” He pauses. "Ah, that's the problem, isn't it?"</p><p>Hashirama closes his eyes again. “Don't.”</p><p>“Don't what?”</p><p>“Don't look at me like you think I wanted to be married so I could be rid of you without saying so. Do you think I'm a coward, Madara? Or am I just cruel?”</p><p>Madara lets out a heavy breath. “You really do look like shit. I thought that Shimura boy was exaggerating, but it seems he wasn't.”</p><p>"How else would I look? I don't understand. Whatever I'm doing wrong, tell me how to fix it. I thought I had things moving in the right direction, but I don't know anymore.”</p><p>Sticks crunch as Madara makes his way over. Hashirama opens his eyes, tracking Madara’s progress with a growing feeling of dread.</p><p>Squatting down in front of Hashirama, Madara hums. “As I thought.”</p><p>“As you thought, what?”</p><p>“You haven't been listening.”</p><p>“I have!”</p><p>“No,” Madara says, taking Hashirama’s face in his hands, “you haven't. I thought you'd understand if I was patient enough to let you get there on your own, but it seems you need help.”</p><p>Swallowing a protest, Hashirama nods.</p><p>“You left.” Madara’s eyes are the same black they were when they first met, Sharingan nowhere to be found. “You're always asking me to stay and telling me to come back, but you were going to leave me behind.”</p><p>“To protect our dream, yes.”</p><p>“No, you were protecting <em> your </em> dream. Konoha isn't my dream,” Madara corrects sharply. “Maybe it was once, but not anymore. I’m tired, too, Hashirama.”</p><p>“Why didn't you say something?”</p><p>Head dropping forward for a moment, Madara mutters to himself.</p><p>When he looks up again, his expression is pinched. “Everyone calls you a benevolent god, but you’re really annoying.” He sighs. “I didn't say anything because I know you, Hashirama. You'd get depressed and decide on your own that you'd ruined the village somehow. Although, I see now that you've done so anyway."</p><p>Hashirama opens his mouth, intending again to protest, but a look from Madara silences him.</p><p>“I’d like to say I'm ambivalent about Konoha, but that would be a lie. Your unattainable dream is a reality. I want it to outlive us.” Grinning, Madara adds, “My father would hate me for helping you.”</p><p>Hashirama doesn't fight his own smile. “Mine would hate me as well.”</p><p>Madara's grin becomes lopsided. “You understand now that I’m not interested in having a place in Konoha now, don't you?”</p><p>“I do.” Hashirama swallows around another wave of dread. “Is this goodbye?”</p><p>“The other villages should be so lucky! After all your unreasonable demands, I have some of my own.” Madara leans in, stopping with a hair’s breadth between their lips. “Don't marry to form an alliance. Give up the comfortable life of a man whose family resides in a walled city to be the husband of a soldier instead. Let me go where I need to, and welcome me home when I return. Keep loving me even though it's difficult."</p><p>Give up one of the village's best bargaining chips for the sake of keeping Madara.</p><p>“Isn't that what I'm already doing?” Hashirama asks.</p><p>Madara leans away, cocking his head as he considers the question. “I suppose it is.”</p><p>At least he acknowledges it.</p><p>“Will you stay through the night if I say yes?”</p><p>“If I don't need to be elsewhere. Who knows? I might even stay the week.”</p><p>There's another smile in the corners of Madara’s mouth. It will grow into a full grin if Hashirama plays his cards right.</p><p>“There won't be anyone else?” he asks.</p><p>The smile freezes. “I’m not the one who tried to marry himself off.”</p><p>“Those aren't the same, as you well know."</p><p>“Fine, fine. Yes, of course I’ll continue to be faithful to you. And in return, you won't try to do anything obnoxiously high-minded like marrying someone else for the sake of protecting my dream. Anything else?”</p><p>Hashirama nods. “What do you do when you aren't in Konoha?”</p><p>Madara squints at him. “I know you aren't stupid, but sometimes, you make me wonder.” Looking up again, he explains, “The other villages, unlike Konoha, aren't very interested in peace, and there are still clans that haven't chosen a village to join. I’m keeping an eye on the borders.”</p><p>“You’re watching the borders? On your own?” Hashirama swallows. “Why?"</p><p>“I don't know how to make peace,” Madara grumbles, “but I can keep the village strong by waging war on its borders. And I won't have to do it on my own if the hokage supports me."</p><p>Reaching up, Hashirama closes his hands around Madara’s wrists. “A soldier… Don't die where I can't find you, Madara.”</p><p>“And leave you behind? You're not getting away from me that easily, Hashirama.”</p><p>Heart clenching, Hashirama cranes his neck for a kiss.</p><p>Madara meets him in the middle but quickly pushes Hashirama onto his back and makes himself comfortable on top of Hashirama.</p><p>Hashirama spent so long worrying about Madara wanting to live in Konoha, he’d forgotten why making it real meant so much to him. Konoha is Hashirama's dream, but it became a reality because of Madara. If he hadn't met Madara, if he hadn't sat on the edge of a mountain with Madara and heard his hopes echoed in someone else's voice, if he hadn't fallen in love with the Uchiha boy who could barely skip a rock, if his first kiss hadn't been a hopeful bump of his teeth against Madara’s by their river, Konoha might have remained an unnamed paradise in Hashirama’s dreams.</p><p>“The Hyuuga are going to join the village, by the way,” Madara informs him. “They're a real pain to deal with, but fighting them is worse. You’ll want to do something about them, I suspect."</p><p>“Do something about them? What does that mean?”</p><p>“I'll tell you later. I finally got back, and you aren't married like I thought you would be. You should make it up to me.”</p><p>Madara sits up and reaches for the fasteners of his armor.</p><p>“Out here?” Hashirama asks. “Do you <em> want </em> to get caught?”</p><p>Madara hums to himself. “Maybe.”</p><p>Hashirama looks up at him and makes a quick decision. “We’ll continue this another time,” he promises, “but it's been four long months for me, too, and I thought I would never get to touch you again. You're coming home with me.”</p><p>Madara's expression is sharp and pleased, and for the first time, they break into Hashirama’s bedroom together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ETA: I forgot when the Valley of the End was made, so let's just say the valley was already there and Hashirama felt like decorating?</p><p>You can say hi on <a href="https://asotin.tumblr.com">tumblr</a> if you'd like to!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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